Aging Issues: When Is It Time to Consider Assisted Living?

Making the decision to move into assisted living can feel overwhelming, both for seniors and their families. Knowing when to start the conversation and understanding the options available can make all the difference.

We’re grateful to share another insightful article by Colleen Kabeary, founder of All 4 Seniors and a trusted partner of Fresh Start Organization. Colleen helps seniors and their families find the right senior living community, while our team helps make the next step easier by managing the downsizing, moving, unpacking, and settling-in process.

Together, we help families navigate these important life transitions with care, compassion, and peace of mind. In this article, Colleen shares some of the signs that it may be time to consider assisted living, what these communities offer, and why planning ahead can make the transition so much smoother. Thank you, Colleen, for allowing us to share your valuable insight with our community.

Written by Colleen Kabeary

There comes a time when it becomes difficult for a person to take care of oneself. This person may be a family member, a friend, or you. Often, something triggers this feeling. It might be physical safety issues like frequent falling, health and medication problems, memory problems, or a declining ability to take care of basic needs. You may find yourself asking, “How am I going to continue doing this?” or “What happens if I can no longer do that on my own?”  Frequently, this is how conversations about senior living options begin.

As someone who has worked in senior living for many years, I have had countless conversations with people who do not fully understand assisted living. There is often fear that going this route means losing your independence. It is important to understand what assisted living is and then to recognize when it may be time to start researching options for yourself or someone you love.

First, let’s consider some signs to look for.

It can begin with small things, such as not eating as much anymore. Maybe most meals consist of frozen or processed food unless a family member helps. Perhaps getting in and out of the shower has become more difficult, or there are changes in sleeping habits, such as being awake at night and sleeping throughout the day.

You may be struggling to get around safely on your own. Perhaps there are more frequent trips to the emergency room because of dehydration, falls, medication mistakes, or recurring urinary tract infections.

Then there is the issue of being alone. Not seeing your friends as often because it has become harder to get together. Some friends may no longer drive, and perhaps you do not feel as safe driving as you once did.

Safety is always important. What would happen if you had a fall or became ill? Who would look out for you, who would check on you? What do you do if you needed physical assistance while recovering?

These are important questions to ask yourself—or the person you are concerned about. If these questions are starting to come up, it may be time to talk with your physician, family members, or a senior living professional and begin learning about the available options.

My advice is simple: Do not wait for an emergency.

Too often, people wait until assisted living is no longer one of several choices, it has become the only choice. A person may be at home after a fall or in the hospital preparing for discharge, and suddenly someone else must quickly find an assisted living community for them.

At that point, you may lose the opportunity to choose the apartment you like best. Someone else may be deciding what furniture to bring and packing your belongings. Then you arrive at your new home without having had much involvement in the process. And, you might not feel it’s yours.

Of course, you can still make changes after you settle in. But wouldn’t you rather take part in those decisions from the beginning?

Choosing to move into assisted living does not mean you are incapable of caring for yourself. It means choosing a supportive environment where help is available if you need it. Some people move before they need personal caregiving assistance. They may no longer want the responsibilities of maintaining a home, cooking every meal, or worrying about what might happen if they are alone during an emergency.

What can assisted living provide?

These communities offer three meals a day, although some apartments still have kitchens for residents who still enjoy cooking. Communities also offer activities and social opportunities, but participation is your choice. Housekeeping, laundry, transportation, and maintenance are also often included and available.

Depending on the community, you may have your own private apartment, with options ranging from a studio to a one- or two-bedroom apartment. If personal assistance becomes necessary, help is available with bathing, dressing, medication management, and other daily needs.

Not every assisted living community is the same. They vary in size, atmosphere, services, apartment styles, and cost. Some are larger communities with many amenities, while others are smaller residential care homes with only a few residents. The right choice depends on the person, the amount of support needed, personal preferences, location, and budget.

Here in Napa County, we have many assisted living options to choose from. We also have trusted local resources that can help people understand and navigate those choices.

The conversation about assisted living should begin with an honest assessment of what is happening today and what may be needed in the future. Talk with your physician and family. Ask friends about their experiences. Visit different types of communities, ask questions, and seek guidance from a senior living advisor if you prefer.

Most importantly, start the conversation before a crisis forces the decision. Learning about your options does not mean you have decided to move. It simply gives you the information—and the time—to make the decision that feels right for you.

You do not have to go through it alone. And please don’t wait for a crisis to make the decision for you.

What would you like to read about in this column? Feel free to let us know! Contact us at NCCOA@countyofnapa.org 

Colleen Kabeary is the owner and founder of All 4 Seniors (all-seniors.com) a free senior living guidance and navigation service. She is a member of the Napa County Commission on Aging, Napa County Continuum of Care, the Alliance on Aging Napa County, and the Napa Sunrise Rotary. She also serves as Vice President of the Board for the non-profit Share the Care in Napa.